Tuesday, October 18, 2011


There is a term that exists in my house that probably exists nowhere else in the world. The term is "Salsified". It's like satisfied, but with salsa. You see, my other half loves salsa. I'm sorry, I probably didn't express that adequately enough. He LOVES!!!! salsa. If he could live off it, he would. And I think he's tried. I remember days when we lived in Atlanta that he would come home with 12lb of salsa because he wanted to try every brand in the store. It would be gone in two or three days. When we get salsa at a restaurant, we ask for more the second it is set down because we know he will have vacuumed it up in about nine seconds.

Last year, I started a salsa garden for him. I was growing tomatoes, cilantro and peppers. Sadly, my former duplex mate didn't mow the lawn and then I went out of town and before you knew it, kudzu had claimed the whole thing. I had no chance of weeding it out since mosquitos consider me an all you can eat buffet. So, I've taken to occasionally grabbing some ingredients and whipping up the odd batch here and there for my guy. There is one teeny tiny problem when it comes to me making him salsa. I am a spicy food pansy. I can't tolerate heat at all. I once accidentally bit into a piece of jalapeno and actually had the thought "I wonder if childbirth is this painful because if it is, maybe I should reconsider my future familial inclinations". And John, well, you know how some people like spicy food? Well, he takes it to a whole new level. He puts hot sauce on ev...ry....thing. It's ridiculous. He puts it on poached eggs! And he considers all hot sauces wussy and inferior. You know how sometimes at restaurants you ask for your food to be made as spicy as possible and they tell you that you would have to sign a waiver for that? Well, he's the kind of guy that would sign the waiver and then not even break out into a sweat while eating the terrifyingly spicy face melting food. So, you might have figured out what the problem is here with me making him salsa.

I can't actually taste it.

If I do, I'll probably die. Or explode. Or die from exploding. So, what follows below is a recipe for a very spicy green salsa that John particularly likes. He tends to use it more of a sauce than as something to dip chips into. I created this recipe when I found Tomatillos on sale and decided that since I had never made anything with them, they presented an interesting challenge. If you wanted a less spicy version, you could absolutely play with using a less spicy pepper, or use less of the pepper. Another trick would be to deseed the peppers first as that would take out a chunk of the heat.

John's Tomatillo Salsa

1lb Tomatillos
8 Serrano Peppers
1/4 Small White Onion, diced
Juice of 1 Lime
Handful Cilantro
1/2 Teaspoon Salt

Set your oven on a high broil and put in the tomatillos and serranos whole. Broil until they are turning a darker brown in spots, turning over once so that they are cooking evenly, about 7 minutes total. Microwave the lime for thirty seconds before juicing. It sounds odd, but it will yield you more juice, and you want a good amount for this recipe. In a blender or a food processor, add all the ingredients and pulse until combined and the texture you are looking for is reached. I tend to go for a less chunky salsa with this particular recipe. Taste and adjust the seasoning. It's likely you might want a little more lime and cilantro.

Makes between two and three cups.

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